Friday, July 16, 2010

Christmas, Lovely Christmas

"Sisters" is playing in the background....I love this song. I love "White Christmas." When Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye lip sync this song....hilarious!!!!

Yes, I am in a Christmas mood!  As Julia and I walked home from school today I was wracking my brain for something fun to do this afternoon.....then it hit me!  A Christmas in July Party!  Helloooo!  So, she thought this was "a great plan!"  So, plan we did!  Hot chocolate, nutella on bread, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer movie, and then Christmas Music!  We waited for Jude to get home and then we sat down for almost an hour and just had Christmas!  I am kinda homesick.....and now "Christmas Shoes" just started I may just end up tearing up.  Sheesh kabobs.  However, speaking of moms, since that is what the song is about, I realized today just how awesome my mom is!  I was reading Lenae's post about her mom and it made me think.  Then today I was thinking.  I have been thinking a lot about this, actually, even before reading Lenae's post.  So many of the things my mom raised me to obey and believe have stuck with me like glue.  Even if I don't fully agree they begin to make more sense as I grow older.  Then, what if Mama has been right all this time and the other parents were wrong.  I mean, parents are stewards of their children's lives.  God has entrusted parents with the lives of their children.  My Mama put a lot of thought into how she raised me.  I know my Daddy did also!  I am a product of my parents.  I know this.  I know when something comes out of my mouth and I cringe thinking "That was so just my mother" that is is because she raised me that way.  Oy, now I have to think and pray and study to learn what I believe from what I was taught so I can raise my children someday to love Jesus and to live for more than themselves but for the glory of the Father!

See! I told you I would get nostalgic!  Yes, tears are drying up in my eyes.  The song egged them on but it was because of something else.

I have been learning things.  I cannot dwell on the past.  I cannot define myself by what has happened.  I can only let God have it and move forward and learn what God wants to teach me as a result.  I have to take comfort in Him rather than looking to my earthly parents when they fail me.  That is a hard lesson to learn!  It is hard because I like the physical touch and security that my parents provide.  I guess another area God is trying to grow me in.....

Well, so much for Christmas.  Yes, Christmas.  I look forward to being home.  Yet, I am love love loving being here!  I LOVE it here!  I love Europe!  I cannot wait to actually get on the continent and explore and have adventures!!!

I cannot wait to see Daddy in a month! A month from tomorrow morning he will be landing!!!

Oh. Hands down.  Hardest thing about being in England.  Grandma is not here.  Sometimes, I will be on the bus and see an older lady, or I will be thinking about Boxing Day or the fact that my Birthday just passed and there was no card and I could not visit her, or that I am in England and she does not know because she is not here.....and I will either tear up or have to force myself not to just start crying.  I miss her so incredibly much!!!! I HATE that I did not know her!  I HATE that I can never know her!  I hate that I don't remember the last time I talked to her before she died.  I miss her. So badly. I hate that Boxing Day will come and go and that it is now a day of pain and sadness for some because she is not here to visit.

The End.

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