Rest In God: An Idea Now Reality

I'm learning to rely on Jesus in a new way.

When my emotions and mind are going crazy and peace seems miles away,
all I can do is pray.
Peace follows.
Not peace in the sense that everything is fixed,
but a peace that God knows, and in that I can rest.
It is comforting belonging to an omniscient Father.
He holds the world.
And, yet he cares about my heartaches.

He gives sleep to those who need rest.

The Original YOLO: Ecclesiastes

Ecclesiastes 3:11

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

May 1.
Where did April go?
I was looking at the date on the board yesterday and thought to myself, "Is it April?  Surely it's only March 30?  No, that was Easter weekend.  It's really almost May."

Just over a month ago, snow was on the ground.
The weather still hasn't realized it's spring, although the leafiness on the trees is slowly creeping up the mountain.

I'm one of those people who loves life.  Even when it is dark, gloomy, and difficult, with perspective, I love the moments where I find joy.

Perspective is a beautiful (and relieving) thing.

I've been reading Ecclesiastes sporadically since last Wednesday.
That book provides perspective on life.
It puts life in a light that many of us forget.

Life is short.
Our time to fulfill God's call on our life is limited.
Life is beautiful.
Man is evil from birth (we are all subject to sin...and that terrible thing that stranger did...it could be me).
The world moves forward.
When we're dead, we'll be forgotten.
"A good name is better than fine perfume..." (Ecc. 7:1a)
All of mankind is drawn to thoughts of eternity...but our minds cannot fathom it.

It ends with...
"...Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." Ecc. 12:13b-14

Some of Ecclesiastes is depressing.  But, when looked at as a whole (perspective!), it shows the beauty of life.  The ups, the downs, and what a gift it is to live.

People who are constantly looking to get to Heaven frustrate me.  I like living.  I'm not ready to die and go to Heaven.  Yes, I have my moments.  When I'm overwhelmed with life, the sadness in the world, or a circumstance gets to me, thinking of being with Jesus is comforting.

But, God created me.  He gave me a life to live.  He has plans for me and a calling for me to fulfill.  How can I bring Him glory?  I'm not sure.  But, I'm beginning to have a little more than an inkling.  It's exciting.

The phrase "YOLO" is used to encourage poor decisions among young (and old) people.
It's true, you only live once.
Don't waste that life.
You don't want that "YOLO" decision to land you in a downward spiral that may take years to come out of (if you ever do).
If you want to live by the YOLO mantra, take it to do exciting things.  Have adventures.  Challenge yourself.  Live fully.
Just remember who gave you this life.

Just a Snippet

I know it's fuzzy, but it was so pretty the other morning.

Tomorrow my students are in for a surprise : )

I'm pretty excited.

Snow is supposed to grace our lovely mountains this week.
My feelings are mixed.  I don't want to miss my students, but snow is so pretty.

Growth hurts.
But, I'm thankful (sometimes) for the process.

I've realized, I am content.
I love being in BC.  I love subbing.  I love writing for the paper.  I love the friendships I'm cultivating.

I love spending so much time with the Shaver's.
It's been a long time since I've spent extended lengths of time at their house, but I'm family.  It's another place I call home.

I got to take Lindsay to school this morning.
I used to babysit her...and now I am driving her to HIGH SCHOOL!

I"m so glad I don't know the plans God has for my life.
Frustrating as it may be sometimes, I enjoy the adventure and surprise.

Have I mentioned I love my students?  They are funny, smart, encouraging...and gems.

Dear Friday: My Students are the Best!

Dear Friday, it seems so odd you've arrived.  I had to keep remembering to wish my students a happy weekend, be safe, and study for their science test.

Dear Students, you all are amazing.  You are gems.  I am so looking forward to the laughs we will share next week.  Thank you for the encouragement you've given me.  Every time you say you've learned something, it makes my day.

Dear Articles, I've written a lot of you this week!  Sunday: pageant article, Tuesday: town council article, Thursday: town council article, this Sat/Sun: another pageant article.  You are keeping me busy!  It is great, but I'm glad to have nothing on my schedule tonight (other than celebrating Lala's birthday)!

Dear Abbie, thank you for being a friend who tells me the hard stuff.  You are an amazing friend.

Dear Shaver's, thanks for letting me live here.  I love it.

Dear God, thank you for friendships.  I'm thankful for the things that strengthen them.  I'm thankful for real friendships, the kind that overcome and survive.  Those are true.

Dear Saturday, bring on the baseball and pageants! WooHoo!

The Not-So-Starving Starving Artist

I know I just used this photo, but it seems fitting.  And this is my blog

I want to share a little about my jobs.

I am a substitute teacher and a part-time newspaper reporter.

Both jobs are amazing.  I love being around students.  No, I don't anticipate becoming a teacher, but I love youth.  They are fun, full of life, and still so malleable.  It is refreshing to see a younger generation enjoying themselves, learning, and growing up.  My favorite age group is middle and high school.  But, I love all the ages.

Writing for a newspaper is something I didn't think I wanted to do.  Even before attending the World Journalism Institute, I said I would like to do magazine journalism but not newspaper journalism.  Where do I find myself?  Writing for a small town newspaper!  It is fantastic.  I've grown a lot, even in the few weeks I've been writing.  Creating an article is like putting together a puzzle without a picture to reference, and I'm creating the pieces as I go along.

Sometimes I become frustrated that I don't have a job to wake up for every day.  Other times, I fear people's opinions.  Are they thinking I'm a lazy bum?  But, then it dawns on me, I get to write for a living, I get to spend time with kids, and I'm not pinned down to one thing.  So many people envy the "starving artist" persona, and I, in a sense, get to be that for a time.  I'm certainly not starving, but I get to do two things I love...write and spend time with awesome teenagers, pre-teens, and kids (and participate in educating them).

Daddy once gave me a piece of advice.  He told me, "Do what you love, and find a way to get paid for it." (The quote may not be exact, but nonetheless, it's going in quotation marks)

I certainly didn't envision myself as a reporter...even a month and a half ago.  Yet, here I am.  But, as always, God has a plan.  Life is an adventure.  It's exciting, and I can't wait to see what happens next!  For now, I'm spending time with people I love, rebuilding friendships, and gaining a deep love for where I live.

Party in the Sanctuary!

Nearly seven years ago I attended a wedding to beat all weddings.
The bride even sang at her own wedding.
Of course, when the bride is Stephanie Clark, what do you expect?

Yesterday afternoon I was privileged to attend Ms. Clark's licensing ceremony to be an evangelist.
As one of the few white faces in attendance, it was an awesome trip into a community and culture that never fails to leave me with a smile on my face.
I recognized many in the congregation.
Some I went to school with in 8th grade (talk about a while!).
Others I recognized as local pastors.
I looked at the lady sitting next to me and realized I'd seen her leaving church earlier that day.
Crazy.

The choir sang.
The congregation joined in.
Standing.
Clapping.
Swaying.
Heads bobbing.
And even a little dancing.

Rev. Cannon spoke scripture.
Singing would continue.
It was peaceful.
I heard the words, knew the truth, and sensed a peace in the room.
It was the comfortable feeling that makes you never want to get up.

A community of believers.
All family and friends of Ms. Clark.
Everyone celebrating a lady we love, and embracing her as she starts a new phase.

When Ms. Clark stood to give her sermon, the first words out of her mouth were in song.
She acknowledged and thanked every person in the room for coming.
By every person, I mean, EVERY person.
She called out family, mentors, friends, churches, everyone.

Afterwards, a delicious meal was shared by everyone.
Laughter, talking, food, drink...it was a party.

Last night was the definition and execution of the word community.
The word is often tossed around.
Come to an event like last night, and you will know what it means.

Lent...More Than a Tradition

Lent is upon us.
To be completely honest, I'm feeling a little smug that I just enjoyed a super s'more (super means chocolate, butterscotch, and white chocolate chips).

Lent and I are not the best of friends.  It's the kind of relationship that really wants to happen...but then life happens.  Not being raised in a Lent practicing family, it was a new process in which for me to participate when I first began attending my wonderful Columbia church.

I didn't participate the first year because I was not prepared for it and didn't want to do it meaninglessly.  Last year I prepared and was all set to go.  But, my flesh won.  I just didn't see the point.  I didn't like denying myself.  Also, it became legalistic in my mind...which was not the point.

So, this year, Lent snuck up on me...after thinking about it periodically.  I didn't know if I would participate.  If I participated, I didn't know what it would look like.  I saw someone refer to a Lenten season they once experienced and how much of a growing time it was for them with God.  After much thinking, mulling, praying, journaling, I've entered into Lent, albeit differently than last year.

I would love to hear thoughts on Lent, reading suggestions on Lent (as I'd like to have a greater understanding), and any other thoughts you care to share!

If You're Curious...

It's been a while since I shared any sort of life update.

The time has arrived.

For close to two months I have pursued various options for this spring, and slowly watched as each option was eliminated.  I was all set to move to England in February.  Then, after searching for jobs, jobs began finding me.  I was adamantly against staying in the United States for any time longer than absolutely necessary.  However, based on my track record of being adamantly against something and then finding myself wanting whatever it was I was adamantly against, I began processing different ideas.

I sought thoughts from others.  I prayed about it.  Everything seemed to be pointing to England.  Well, after a wonderful conversation with Mrs. C, an interview with the newspaper, and several discussions with my parents, I decided to postpone moving.  There are many factors, some large and some small.

I will continue substitute teaching, I am now a part-time reporter for our local newspaper (first official job is tomorrow!), and there may be some other little endeavor up my sleeve.

England is in my DNA, it is in my heart.  I will be a part of it soon enough.  For now, I am going to engage in friendships, familyships, and gaining life experience.

Life Is Precious

Life is precious.

I am grieved for the young lives lost.
Never has a close friend died.  Nor, for that matter, has a distant friend died.

I remember the day I arrived at school and a fellow student had died in an accident.
Grief surrounded me.
I felt sorrow for what my friends were feeling, but I was not personally affected.

Time and time again the same scenario happens.
People whom I love lose someone close, someone young, someone it seems wrong to lose.

Maybe it is the small community that amplifies the loss.
Perhaps, if a ratio were given, it would show more young people in my area die than should.
The causes are often not pleasant, not that death is ever pleasant.
It cannot be as simple as a health issue.
No, it must be accidents, drugs, or suicide.

To those grieving, I pray comfort for you.
To those living, play safe.

We are not immortal.
God has given us one life.

What Is This Grace?

"The fact that even some Christians fail to grasp the radical nature of God's unconditional love suggests just how deeply we humans are embedded in a world ruled by law, expectations, duty, control and obedience."~Mark Galli, Focus on Grace, Not Control

I saw an article on Facebook about parenting with the focus on grace rather than control.  For several reasons, it immediately caught my attention.

The title of the article by Mark Galli, editor of Christianity Today, is Focus on Grace, Not Control.  When I read the title, my mind immediately thought (in summary), grace and not control?  How will a child learn right and wrong if all they know is grace when they disobey.  That is just parents giving in to their children and not keeping control.  I knew I had to read it.  I wanted to know the author's perspective on grace in parenting.  Granted, my intent was not initially pure, but before I reached the end, I was thinking to myself, ah, yes, I am relating to what he is saying.  Grace is so important.  Why, then, is it so difficult for me?

Mark Galli contrasts the legalism that appears in many conservative, Christian homes to the grace displayed all through the Gospels by Jesus and throughout the New Testament as instruction for how we, the body of Christ, should treat others.  Galli mentions the inclination humanity has to rules and regulations, which, if you think about it, is an odd attraction considering the affect rebellion has on humanity, as a result of the fall.  However, the point is, grace is everywhere, from Genesis to Revelation, yet so often Christians fail to grasp it.

I am one of those Christians.  I like rules, except when I don't.  I usually follow rules, except when I speed.  Of course, I want grace extended to me.  Why, then, do I fight showing grace to others?  I want justification, retribution, people should pay for the wrong they have done, especially when they have wronged me.  But, if Jesus took that approach, I would have no hope of salvation.  I would be damned to Hell for all eternity.  How thankful I am that Jesus shows me grace every day, even when I struggle (or fail) to recognize it or accept it.

Another Thought, Another Step

Photo by K.L.R

I don't understand.....

My mind flooded this week.  Thoughts, scenarios, ideas, emotion, contemplation, and much more caused me sleep deprivation, stress, happiness, and, possibly, slight depression.  Next week is the ending of a section of a chapter.  The pretty squiggle that separates parts of a story will be made, and my time of work and life in Lynchburg will end.

I'm waiting for definitive answers of what will come next.  Monday night, after work, I will drive home, take many of my belongings with me, visit some people, tend to some responsibilities, and then drive back to fulfill my last two days of work.

The future is bright and exciting, filled with the unknown.  Someone reminded me today to be still know that God is God.

As I approach decisions and crossroads, I will pray for guidance, seek wisdom, and not stand still.  I must move forward, ever pushing on doors to see which one will open.

An Ecclesiastes Moment

Photo by K.L.R.

If you've been reading for a while, you have probably seen me mention my amazing church in Columbia.  I wrote earlier in the week that the pain of missing the church seemed to have passed.  There was a long time during the summer and fall where I missed it so greatly, it was hard to attend anywhere else.

Today I've been a little more emotional than usual.  A lot is on my mind, and when something is on my mind I tend to stew on it.  Weirdly, I like stewing...even if it makes me miserable.

Since graduating from college I have been trying to learn how to operate and have a relationship with God in this new stage of life.  It is difficult, especially knowing the closest thing to a true church community I've known is five and a half hours away.  And, I'm not going to be a regular attendee, probably, ever again.

Tonight, a professor from my Alma Mater, who is the Lay Pastor of the Music and Arts at my church, posted a song he recorded.  This song is one we sing at church.  As I listened to it, the cry I've been needing came.  It is hard to have something as beautiful as a church community taken away.

I think it is time to read Ecclesiastes again.




You can purchase and download O God, Eternal Light, performed by Dr. Rod Lewis, here.

Another Year Gone

Photo by K.L.R.

 As I pause to think back to a year ago, I have a difficult time remembering where I was and what I was doing.  For some reason, last Christmas seems a haze.  I know I was preparing for the wedding of two dear friends, but everything else eludes me.

I've reflected a little bit on the past year, where I was and what has changed.  Honestly, it's not been the most monumental of years.  I agonized over planning the future, discovered my love for high schoolers (thanks CoTA!), graduated from university, studied journalism in NYC, survived an intense storm and no AC for three hot days, was published in a newspaper, became a substitute teacher, started working another job, grew relationships and started new ones, and changed.

What I hoped my life would look like?  Me, living in England.  Me, living with Steph in SC, still attending Church of the Apostles.  Me, having adventures and starting my life as an adult.

God changes desires.  Sometimes He uses other desires.  He has a different schedule.

While not the most thrilling of years, my friendships have grown, and for that I am thankful.  My friends are amazing, unique, and caring.  I look forward to the years ahead.

I'm excited to see what 2013 holds.  Hopefully it will be an exciting and adventurous year, full of good changes.

Happy New Year's Eve!

I'm Still Here!

This week exhausted me more than any other in a while.
Nights lacking sleep, 10+ hours work days, meetings, and more.
Tonight at work I felt dead, as if I had missed sleep due to writing a paper in college. 
Coffee perked me up, the phones were quieter, and I was able to chat with some work friends!

A stop at Wal-Mart on the way home became a necessity.
Chocolate and ear plugs are now in my possession...oh, and vitamins!
I was hunting for ear plugs in the hunting section and asked this guy if he could possibly direct me in their direction, as he seemed to know his way around better than me.  I thought he looked familiar.  Turns out, I just saw him at work as I was leaving tonight!  Fun, random work-people sightings!

Now, sleep beckons me.  I've watched Numb3rs, had a little red wine, tasted Lindor Dark Peppermint chocolate, and am now preparing to sleep in!  Tomorrow I will sleep and lounge (mostly).

On a different note, I hope to have definite plans to share very soon about what my spring will hold!

Till next time, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite!

xoxo

Dear Friday & 300th Blog Post

 
Dear Blog, Happy 300th Post!!!  We started two years and nine months ago.  I've updated you frequently...and not so frequently.  But, I love looking back to see where it all started and the tales that have been told since.

Dear Friday, once again, you've rolled around quickly.  It is hard to believe a week ago I was excitedly anticipating my trip to Columbia.

Dear Job, I really like you. 

Dear Lynchburg, we need to become friends.  I am willing to explore your brick buildings, riverfront, and cute little shops.

Dear Friends in Lynchburg, let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah.  Mmm, broke into a Parent Trap song.

Dear Josh, I am SO excited to see you next week!  I've missed having you around.  I'm glad we are cousins : )

Dear People at Work, I'm glad we are getting to know each other and becoming friends. 

Dear Life, I am excited about the options opening up before me.  I'm also beyond thankful that God knows what is best for me.

Dear Europe (Specifically England and Germany), I miss you.  I can't wait to be on your land again.

Dear Weekend, we need some plans. 

Love, Laughter, Friends

I am blessed.

God has given me the dearest of friends.
I have such a basket full of true, real, loving, caring friends.
We share burdens and joys, laughter and sorrow.
I've gained family.

I've spent a day and a half, minus an hour, in Columbia, SC.
It has been full of visiting friends--my favourite kind of busyness.
The time has filled my tank, so to speak.
I got to go to my church.  People said, "Welcome home."
I got to see "my kids."  All those lovely, dear high school students who make me smile and a little teary when I see them excel.
Lunch with more laughter than I've experienced since....maybe the last time I had Sunday lunch with the Crutchfield's.  Honestly, I've laughed more this weekend than I have in ages.
Indian food with Hannah and Aaron...so yummy!  Oh, and great conversation ; )
Steph and I met at Starbucks...and proceeded to have the best and most funny time.
Long talks and Krispy Kreme donuts with Em. (I've missed that girl!)
An almost midnight visit with Annie and Kathleen...those girls are so funny!
Lunch at the Crutchfield's...the highlight of everyone's week!
Fish and Chips with Chris and Marie. These two are amazing.  They love me even when I am tired.
And, then tonight, chats with my roommate from last semester.  So good to see her!  (I'm crashing on her floor!)

Can you tell this has been a fabulous time?
I"m blessed, loved, and thankful!

A Little Reminder

Since studying in Germany two years ago (yes, TWO years!), I've come to appreciate the traditional, the orthodox, the symbolism.  There are times when something is taken to a level with which I am uncomfortable.  However, the rituals and liturgy are something I've come to love while attending Church of the Apostles.  In fact, one of the most painful parts of leaving Columbia was leaving my church.  I've been going through the "how do I move on" stage for the past few weeks. 

In August, just as it was getting very hard to be away from my friends and church, I was able to make a trip down for an entire week.  It was wonderful.  This past Wednesday a friend sent me a text asking if I would be coming to Columbia any time soon.  I told her that sadly, no, I wasn't able to.  After I sent that text, I thought to myself, why not?  It is my last full, free weekend before my new work schedule.  I am happy to say, I am going to Columbia this weekend.  Just as I was really needing time with my church (and to see my friends), God opened the door and surprised me!

I digress.  A couple of days ago I was watching an episode of Numb3rs.  In this episode there were several girls from India.  One of the girls was given a prayer kit from a main character on the show, Amita, who came from an Indian background.  Amita didn't know a lot about this prayer kit, as the contents were a gift from her grandmother.  She asked the Indian girl what the red string meant.  The girl explained, "We tie a bracelet after, to remember."  That one line struck me.  In their ritual of prayer, they do not just finish the prayer and move on.  They make a visual reminder of the prayer. 

My grandmother made a necklace with different beads on it.  Each bead reminds her of a person or situation for which to pray.  It is personalized to her.  I feel the need to clarify, I am not Hindu.  I am a Christian.  But, the concept of making that visual reminder of a prayer I am seeking God to answer, or a situation I want to continue to pray for, is one I like.

Friday's Letters: Continually New

Abi (Queen Esther) and me (Queen of Sheba) at the harvest festival

Dear Friday, You came so quickly this week.  Last week took forever, this week flew by.  I think it is the new work schedule.

Dear Numb3rs, Still watching you and still loving you.  I'm now watching from the first season.  So. Good.

Dear White Collar and Downton Abbey, I can't wait for your seasons to begin! (I'm really not a crazed TV watcher...but I have a few shows that I LOVE.)

Dear Lynchburg, why is it that when I am going one direction, I am driving North and South at the same time?  Oy!

Dear Saturday, I'm so excited for a Skype date and a party to see friends!

Dear Thanksgiving, I have you off!!!

Dear November, I'm excited you are here!  It means I get to see Josh!

Dear God, Thank you for this next/continuing step of life you have given me.  I'm excited to see where it goes (and what's next).  (I realize I am still that girl always wondering what is "next.")

My Plans...Like a Balloon in the Wind

I'm always planning the next thing.

Dream, planning, and connecting are a daily activity for my brain.
I love it.  I thrive from it.  I get frustrated by it.

Today I was thinking about my future, what is coming up, and how it will connect to the next thing.
 I realized, it could mean staying the country a little longer.
 *Quelle horreurs*

Immediately I start asking myself if I could deal with that.
It will throw a kink in all of my plans!
But, I can see how it might be beneficial.

Then it hit me (and not for the first time).
Every time I make a plan, God changes it.
Always for the best (even if I don't love it).

I need to hold my plans loosely.
God knows my loves and my passions.
He knows what I do not know.

God will put my life together in such a way that will glorify Him.
I will do the next thing and try to keep that in mind.
Life is to be lived for the glory of God.

As parents of a friend of mine wrote on a frame of their wedding pictures:
"All that matters
is the glory of God."

Photo By: K.L.R.

Friday's Letters: Life

Photo by K.L.R.

 Dear Daisy Elizabeth Daw, Welcome to the family!  I can't wait to meet you in person (hopefully before you reach your first birthday....or even six month birthday : ) )!

Dear Friday, you come with a full day: substitute teaching, a visit to the eye doctor, and maybe a perusal of the Fall Foliage Festival.

Dear Weekend, hooray!  You have arrived and brought the Fall Foliage Festival with you!  My first one in  close to eight years (crazy, I know!).

Dear God, thank you for this beautiful fall weather!  I am overwhelmed each time I look outside, drive over the mountain, or soak in the beauty.

Dear Nanny (as in The Nanny), I can't just watch one episode.

Dear Mama, I love having a show to share now that White Collar is on a break.
(a few years late, but she discovered Numb3rs...and totally gets it, while I just understand parts).

Dear Deborah, so fun Skyping and Pinteresting and planning ; )

Dear God, thank you for hearing and answering prayers.  You are a great God.